Parenting big kids when there are differences in values & virtues

All parents start having some expectations from children. And every child born with some character, values and traits. If these values matches with their parents, parenting becomes enjoyable and comfortable but differences in values make the parents interpret different behavior.

In such case First step for mother to stop having any expectation of behaving well or obedience from child, now parents should analyze the traits, virtues, or any demerit peccadillo or drawbacks of the child possess, According to the character of child’s parents should adopt the skill of parenting.

Secondly parents should not be authoritative in such case, they should recall their age- what did they do at that time. If they will understand the compulsion or helplessness of the child, why child is doing this behavior. All child born with all merits or demerits received from parents or grant parents as a genetic effect. Child is bound to behave as per the traits. Most of the parents do mistake in parenting such child where the values are different and expectations of parents are not met.

Upbringing with some expertise can play a major role to change the demerits into merits of the child up to some extent.

Here the parenting skill is required utmost. Storytelling is a way to make them learn cultural values, playful form of teasing and then guiding their behavior, are some way of developing their moral values.

Most important is moms response towards their children’s behavior because children observe very fast, they learn fast through observation, they observe your behavior, mommies should not leave them any moment with negative feeling, your positivism can improve their emotional ability to have even temperament in different situations, They learn from your behavior, therefore you should behave in a controlled manner in front of them. Your reactions at their mistakes matters a lot. Keep your reactions in sophisticated manner.

When we see uninvolved detached and dismissive parenting and thus their children display contradictory behavior. It is very common but hidden fact of the society. Here comes the real importance of parenting.

 Although all mothers are full of attachment, a long lasting emotional bond and faithfulness towards their children but this attachment and faithfulness is also mixed with their expectations which causes disappointments when these expectations are not met and then it becomes dismissive or authoritative parenting. It also makes you helpless to adopt any skill of good parenting.

 It seems very difficult and quite impossible for parents specially when there are differences in values and they have expectations too. So first stop expectations then you can keep control on your behavior and regulate parenting skill properly.

Friendly behavior and ego-less attitude with children makes them to remain open with moms in every matter and when children share everything with you, it becomes very easy to have productive parenting with a fruitful result in terms of changing all demerits into merits. This is called a real nurture.